Khloe Kardashian admitted she was still so in love with ex Lamar Odom that she hoped to save their marriage until just months ago.
Although they split in December 2013, it was only at the end of August this year that she finally asked a judge to press forward and formally end their marriage.
In a sneak peek on Thursday of the next Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Khloe admitted that she had deliberately left the divorce 'dormant' because she hoped they could still make things work, before admitting: 'He can't commit to making us better.'
Divorce talk: Khloe Kardashian in a sneak peek on Thursday of the upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians talked about moving forward with divorce
Khloe - who was already dating Houston Rocket star James Harden - made no secret of still being in love with Lamar in scenes taped in August before his near fatal overdose following a binge at a Nevada brothel.
'I can still love him - but I have to love and let go,' she said sadly, insisting she was only pressing forward with the divorce because it was becoming 'toxic on my current life.'
Explaining why she 'finally decided to move everything forward with the divorce,' she said: 'There's way more underlying issues than if we love each other - that's never been a question. But there's real life that comes in between love sometimes.
Real life: The reality star said that real life sometimes can come in between love
Happier times: Khloe is shown with Lamar in June 2012 in Orange, California
'As horrible as that sounds, it's true,' Khloe told the camera.
'I've let our divorce be dormant for some time now trying to give Lamar time to make effort - he can't commit to making us better.
'And so I have to now step away and do what's best for me.
'I can still love him - but I have to love and let go.'
Candid conversation: Kim Kardashian asked Khloe about the status of her divorce from Lamar Odom
Her voice had wavered with emotion when sister Kim asked her about it over lunch, with Kim saying that only now did she feel her sister was 'finally done' with the relationship.
'You're way closer to being over it,' Kim told her. 'Before I thought you were so into it, and I was like, 'Oh God, here we go…'
'Because you mistake my kindness for me going back with someone,' Khloe snapped back.
Finally done: The reality star said she believed that Khloe was finally done with the relationship
And in an awkward exchange given how Kim's first two marriages ended, Khloe said: 'You don't marry someone and then you cut them out of your life that easily.'
'I care about Lamar so I want the best for him,' she added. 'I just want the best for his well-being. But when it starts to become toxic on my current life, then that's when I have to remove myself.
'Anyway, you know - it's just done,' Khloe said.
It's done: Khloe said she realized that it was time to move on
Her heartbreak also led her to travel to Mexico to visit the Black Jaguar-White Tiger Foundation, with the sneak peek showing some of the most unusual scenes from the season with Khloe heading into a caged area to be with a tiger she is warned could kill her.
But she made it clear to mom Kris Jenner and Kris's new boyfriend Corey Gamble that the real reason for the trip was the pain of her divorce.
'Just with everything that's happening it's a good time to get away,' she said, biting her nails.
Get away: The star talked to momager Kris Jenner and her boyfriend Corey Gamble about wanting to get away
'And Kendall is always good energy to be around,' she said of her younger sister joining her on the trip.
'I just don't want to be here,' she admitted bluntly. 'It's just too much drama.'
Later, she added: 'Right now there is just so much going on in my life that I just want to get away.'
Kicking back: Kris relaxed with Corey while Khloe shared her get away plans
'Well, they say that it's really therapeutic to do something around animals, for people that are stressed,' her mother said, quickly admitting: 'I don't think that they were referring to the lion, tiger and bear situation, exactly, but whatever floats your boat.'
Corey quickly got himself an invite to the trip, insisting: 'I want to play with the jaguar - the jaguar can crush your skull.'
When Kris refused to say whether she was up for it, too, Corey teased her: 'You're either in or you're motherf***ing out.'
Quick invite: Corey secured himself a quick invitation to the trip with Khloe
Good energy: Khloe brought along younger sister Kendall for her good energy
Big cats: Tigers and lions approached Khloe after she volunteered to enter their habitat
'I think I'm motherf***ing out,' Kris replied.
Kim, meanwhile, joked with Khloe during their lunch that she felt like she was suddenly ballooning so much with baby weight that she felt 'like I'm Buddy Love and I'm turning into Professor Klump,' Eddie Murphy's wildly overweight character in The Nutty Professor.
'I feel like every part of my body is just exploding,' Kim said.
Film analogy: Kim compared her pregnancy weight gain to Professor Klump in The Nutty Professor
Despite recently telling her mother that she was already thinking about having a third baby, Kim was so fed up with pregnancy she insisted this was her last, in scenes recorded months before her weekend delivery of baby Saint.
'Don't worry, soak it in, this will never happen again,' Kim insisted of her being pregnant. 'This is it, one-hundro.'
The show also highlighted an unexpected pregnancy scare in the family - from 60-year-old 'momager' Kris.
Pregnancy scared: Kris worried that she could become pregnant at age 60
Despite being a grandmother and a mom-of-six, the hugely successful manager seemed oblivious to some basic birds and the bees facts.
And she was so worried she turned to daughter Kourtney to make sure that there was no way she could be pregnant, telling her it was 'kinda serious.'
Kris explained how she had pulled out tampons while at lunch with friends who were all 'flabbergasted' that she could still be having periods.
Good advice: Kourtney Kardashian suggested that her mother call her doctor
She then recalled how she explained to her girlfriends that it was 'because hormone cream' - to which one of her friends asked 'Are you on birth control?'
'And I go, 'Birth control? Why in the world, at 60 years old, would I be on birth control?'
'And she said, 'Because you can still get pregnant.'
Birth control? Kris became alarmed when a friend asked if she was on birth control
Kris then turned to her daughter with alarm in her voice and said: 'I don't think I could get pregnant…?
'If I am pregnant I don't know what I would do,' she admitted.
Kourtney insisted she should phone her doctor Paul Crane - which Kris did immediately, asking him: 'Is there any way that I could get pregnant?'
When he insisted 'absolutey not,' she further asked if she would be making 'any kind of eggs,' joking: 'Scrambled? Fried? Poached?'
Hosting gig: Kylie was approached by her mother who was concerned about her hosting club parties at age 18
'No dear, you're OK,' the doctor insisted.
'Never thought I'd be so happy to get a negative, ''No you can't get pregnant'',' Kris admitted.
In fact, she is still having enough stress over her youngest child, Kylie, who having turned 18 is now planning to make personal appearances at clubs.
'She may not be drinking, because she's not a big drinker, but the crowd might get a little more, you know, intense,'Kris said.
Grown up: Kylie noted that she was 18 and grown up
'So yeah, I'm very anxious and nervous and worried about my baby girl,' Kris insisted.
Everyone at the chat agreed that Kylie is advanced for her age, with Kim's close friend Jonathan Cheban saying of Kylie: 'I think that she's going to have kids at, like, 22.'
'Now I'm even more anxious and freaked out,' Kris insisted.
'I don't want to be that overbearing mom but I'm going to have to say something to Kylie.'
The next episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians will air on Sunday night on the E! network.
Bold prediction: Jonathan Cheban predicted that Kylie would have children at age 22
Big party: Kylie was shocked by the size of the party she flew into
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